In today’s world there is a lot of conversation around love. What is it? Who’s allowed to have it? And so many more. As a writer, this inevitably comes up in my works and has to be addressed. Not everyone will agree, and that’s okay, not everyone needs to. But the most important thing to know about me, is that I believe everyone has a right to love. I repeat:

No One can tell you who you can and cannot love.

Period. No qualifiers here good people. Love is Love. Deal with it.

That being said, I’d like to take this opportunity to share a moment of insight I had about myself.

I recognize that love comes in many forms: the love of a parent, platonic friendship, siblings, soul siblings, a partner, many partners. Some I understand. Some I don’t. Neither makes me prejudice against any of the others. Just because I don’t have personal experience, doesn’t make it any less valid.

This week I had two different things challenge that. One was something that happened in a book I’m currently reading, the other was a conversation with my best friend. I won’t go into the details, but the lesson from each remained the same: I’m selfish and so are all of my characters.

To be fair, this was not exactly news to me; however it was interesting to have it be highlighted not once, but twice in the same week. Turns out I’m an incredibly possessive person. Not just about food or things, but about people. I don’t share well with others. Must have missed that lesson in pre-K. It may be a flaw, but I don’t foresee it changing any time soon.

Alas, the characteristic has been passed on to my characters (pretty much all of them). Now I’m confronted with the very real dilemma of “Does that need to change?” Am I allowed to let them be this way? More importantly, am I allowed to let them be this way and still call myself open-minded and inclusive?

I’d like to say I have a conclusion, but I fear I do not. Spoiler alert, like myself, all of my main characters are serial monogamists or at least they are once they realize how hopelessly tied up they are. So while I don’t have an answer for my dilemma, I would be very interested to hear your opinions. Send a private message, leave a comment below, find me on some other social media platform, but tell me what you think.